GAME BUSINESS DAILY

Wii Fit: “Lawyers Edition”

Roger — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 14:44:36 +0000

Feeling a little unfit recently I brushed away the cobwebs from my copy of ”Wii Fit” and gave it another go. Having not logged on for at least 2 months, I half expected to be told off but instead my absence was quickly ignored and I was greeted with a warm “It’s been a while!
However, I was once again reminded what a politically correct game “Wii Fit” is and that Nintendo’s lawyers had obviously been hard at work analysing every section of this game under a big legal microscope. Every 10 seconds, you are reminded that you should attach the wrist strap around your wrist or that you should feel free to lean on a steady object if you feel unbalanced. The player is then obliged to push the “A” button and so confirm that you have legally accepted the message and conditions and that therefore Nintendo are not liable for any accidents that may occur afterwards.I guess you can’t blame Nintendo for not wanting to end up in court because little Johnny threw his controller through the window but it does make you think when even games of this nature are not safe from the new era of political correctness. Meanwhile, I must go, I am very upset! I just got called “overweight” by the game – how dare they? I need to call my lawyer; I might have a good case for emotional abuse.

Breast Reduction Surgery

Roger — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 08:50:15 +0000

So Crystal Dynamics are to sack 30 workers in response to the news that Tomb Raider Underwear only sold 1.5 million copies on 4 different platforms since its release? Were they really solely to blame for this dismal sales performance that led to a huge drop in the value of Eidos shares? Wasn’t the US retailer to blame too? According to Eidos themselves, the American retailers discounted the game heavily and quickly assigned it to the bargain bins in a desperate attempt to get rid of the unwanted stock! (Silly retailers, how dare they think only about themselves?) Oh yes, Eidos, perhaps it was also the severe global recession that was to blame and also the big releases that your game had to compete with over the Christmas period! Or perhaps it was the crappy game itself? With the worst in game camera I have seen for years? With the most amateurish and dated combat mode and level design that reminded me of games last seen before 2000? Thank god for the excellent graphics, music and intelligent puzzles that saved the ship from sinking without any dignity and respect.

It seems that blaming anyone but yourself these days is the easiest option. In the end, nothing really helps when the real blame lies solely on your very own doorstep. Eidos should remind itself that it’s the publisher’s job and responsibility to ensure that the developer has the time, money and right staff to do the job it is required to do. Rumour even has it that Eidos made the decision to cut chunks from the main game and make it available as downloadable content on the 360 (that’s why the main game is so short)?So I would like to offer some free advice to the Eidos CEO: it’s not Crystal Dynamics staff that should be leaving, it’s your very own Eidos staff – you know, the ones who have been responsible for overseeing and masterminding the fall and decline of the most lucrative franchise ever in UK video gaming history!

My Special New Year Prayer For Game Publishers

Roger — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 00:38:42 +0000

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” Yes my fellow human beings : let’s hope 2009 will be the year that we all finally learn to live with piracy in peace and harmony. Let us not waste precious time and money fighting this invincible and immoral enemy but let us instead devote our unique talents and skills to making brilliant and amazing games, which will then sell millions and make us all very rich! Remember, only the weak need fear the might of the enemy!

Here endeth the sermon!

“And the Award for Game of the year 2008 goes to: “

Roger — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 00:37:47 +0000

Nobody! That’s right, absolutely nobody! 2008 to me was the year of rushed releases, bug infested games, poor design decisions, anti climactic let downs and disappointments. I did however briefly consider Lionhead’s “Fable 2” as a contender but have now decided against giving it the award because:

(1) They have just released a fix for some of the bugs found in the game, 2 and half months after the game’s release!

(2) It was not possible to collect all the dog tricks and expressions in the game without first purchasing and playing the dreadful arcade game “Pub Games” for 800 Microsoft points. No wonder people complain about game pricing these days.

(3) I still cannot understand to this day why the game’s poorly executed coop would not allow your coop friend to see what your “in game” character looked like. Was it really so hard to implement such a basic feature?

(4) To obtain your “hero doll” in the game meant finishing SECOND in the shooting contest and not first! And if that was not farcical enough, you were awarded the same type of doll as everyone else with which to trade online.

(5) All the other reasons mentioned in my previous article “Fable : Telling Stories”

So there you have it: even my favourite game of the year is not worthy of an award. Maybe it could get the award for “The only game that managed to still be fun and original despite its bugs and setbacks”.

“I’m Mad As Hell And I’m Not Going To Take This Anymore!”

Roger — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 00:36:53 +0000

Happy New Year everyone. This famous line from the Hollywood film “Network” aptly describes my current bitter discontent with the gaming industry in general and my disappointment with 90% of the big “blockbuster” console games released over the last two months. Of course, in reality there is not much I can do about the bad habits of the gaming industry except maybe to stop buying their games and playing them but somehow I just don’t seem able to control my addictions. I can’t help drooling excitedly as I eagerly tear open the wrapping of a new game and insert it into the console, foolishly believing and hoping once again that this game is going to live up my expectations. Over the next few weeks I will be explaining in more detail why I am “mad as hell”: examining the disaster of “Gears of War 2”, the insultingly amateur efforts of the new “Tomb Raider” game and my disdain of the so called gaming press who seem unable to review games properly.

Back To School : Player Control!

Roger — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 00:35:30 +0000

Why is it that in a very competitive industry where thousands of well educated and intelligent people dwell, a lot of game developers end up forgetting the very basic and simple rules of game design?

Today’s example: “Need For Speed Undercover” (PSP) : About 25% into the game, after customising your cars to the max, you unlock a new area in which to race. In this area, the AI of the computer drivers goes up a level. You decide you will participate in a 2 lap race which will take around 6 or 7 minutes to complete. After leading the way for most of the race, you get spotted by a police car which decides to chase you down for reckless driving. Unfortunately for the gamer, being spotted by the police car initiates a zoom sequence whereby the game camera SLOWLY zooms in on the police car for over 5 seconds, conveniently forgetting you are still racing against 5 other AI drivers. It may come as a surprise to EA but most people find it hard to drive at 200 mph when they can’t see the road they are supposed to driving on! Of course, the player crashes most of the time and, as a result, falls behind the AI drivers and fails to finish the race with a position needed to progress further into the game. What a complete farce and waste of 6 minutes driving!

Simple Solutions :

(1) Cut out the zoom sequence! Police sirens and a quick look in the car mirror are enough for most players to realise the police are after them!

(2) Races = no police cars! Let the police have a break sometimes?

(3) Customisation. “I dont want police cars while I am racing, EA” = Option “Police Cars in Races – Y/N?”

(4) Stop making Need For Speed Games? Oh, they are still selling by the truckload? Oh well…

Learning From History

Roger — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 00:33:29 +0000

Talking about nails and coffins: Eidos are in trouble again. A bug has been found in the Wii version of “Tomb Raider Underwear” that prevents completion of the game. A vital lever that needs to be pulled in order to progress to the next area is often “missing”. Since there is no updated fix available, players will have to download a patch onto their SD card (providing of course, the player has a SD Card, internet access and a computer with a SD slot/ adapter) and then do the following:

1. Unzip “20081124 TRU Wii NTSC save.rar” (or PAL, I assume?)

2. Place the contents of the unzipped folder onto an SD card.

3. Ensure the Wii is off and insert the SD Card into the Wii.

4. Boot up the Wii without the disc in.

5. Go to the Wii Options -> Select Save Data -> Select Wii -> Select SD Card.

6. Select the TR:Underworld file and then select the option copy to Wii memory

7. After save is copied remove SD card and reboot the Wii.

8. Start the game and Load the Save.

Quite an easy fix: especially if you are a kid under 10? How about replacing them with bug free copies? This is after all what the limited warranty agreement found inside all game booklets is about? Will Eidos be recalling all the Wii copies from the retailers?

What really grates with me is that Eidos have never learnt from past mistakes. In 1998, there was a similar bug in their TR3 game (London levels), at least 5 similar bugs in TR Angel Of Fartness in 2003 and I also recall another one from a jungle level in another TR game (was it TR3 as well?) whereby an executive from Core Design had to explain to the public that once they have entered a certain door, “please don’t go back to that area again”.

Maybe they should just be honest and say: “Once you have picked this game off the shelf and paid a lot of money for it, take it home and hang it on the bedroom wall and enjoy looking at lovely Lara every night before you go to sleep. Our plastic covers are made with the best plastic materials around to ensure that your Lara lasts as long as possible.”